Monday, April 27, 2009

FREE JJ NOW!!








Greg and I were taking a little walk in the park, and you will never believe who we spotted!!  That's right ...  JJ "the" goose!  You can imagine our shock when we were told the poor little fellow would not be dumped, but brought back to the loving home he had left so trustingly.  Dumped in a sump!  How could such a thing happen?  I figure he must have been goosenappered by ruthless goosenappers, and then dumped to hide the evidence.  The terrible crime must have been kept from us because of threats from the goosenappers.  A vicious look-out-foster-mother-goose-type was hissing and chasing the poor little terrified creature and not allowing him to play in any goose games. His little black beak had huge tears running off of it and his little black feet were standing in a puddle of his own tears.  It was a heart-wrenching sight! Wait a minute .... black beak, black feet .... could it be .... are there really people that still harbor such hatred?  Could this be a hate crime?  I wanted to help, but there was a huge chain-link fence (probably electrified) surrounding the ghetto, with a menacing looking padlock and chain around the gate.  Outside the gate, and strategically placed around the goose ghetto were signs clearly stating, as you can read for yourself, that it was not permitted to dump unwanted fowl in this area.  But I guess if you're ruthless enough to nap a goose, (a black-beak-black-footed one at that) mere signs wouldn't deter you.  As there is a God in heaven, it is good to know that the guilty party will have to pay the price in the next life if not in this one.  Nonetheless, I have decided to start a "FREE JJ" campaign.  Someone has to stand up for the under-goose! If not me, who?  First they came for the kittens, and I thought, "I am not a kitten" and I did nothing.  Then they came for the puppies.  I was not a puppy, so I did nothing.  Then they came for the geese.  I thought, if I didn't stand up for the black-beaked-black-footed-goose there would be no one left to stand up when they came for me!  Who will join me in my fight for JJs freedom and basic goose rights?  As I walked away with big tears running down my cheeks, I thought I heard him say, "Please, don't forget me!  Save me from a fate they wouldn't give a dog.  I beg you!!!"  I slowly turned and looked into his red stinging eyes, and I vowed I would not rest until he was free.  I am working on remodeling the attic, and making my plans for his prison break, and future hideout. Free JJ!  Free JJ NOW!!  All donations to the cause will be gratefully accepted, and may be tax-deductible.  Wait a minute .... I think that "Barry" doesn't allow charitable donations anymore, especially for black-beaked-black-footed geese.  Ironic, isn't it?!

6 comments:

Shed said...

Trust me, you do NOT want to free that goose! He is cute and soft on the outside, but on the inside he is a cold blooded thief and deviant. I'll spare all the details and share just a couple experiences. For example, we came home from church and found my wallet out and I was missing a $20 bill. Late one night I heard loud noises from the back yard and I looked out and JJ was outside with his "homies" smoking crack and playing dominoes. It was 3 AM! The final straw for me was when he stole my keys and took my car for a joy ride that ended with my car stripped down to nothing but the frame. Damn that goose. I hope he burns in that goose Hell.

Memzy said...

It's all fun and games until the goose tried to hit on me. You've gotta do whatcha gotta do to protect your family. JJ was a bad influence for our boys too. Refused to go to church even!! He needed to get turned around. Hopefully "goose juvie" will straighten him out.

Emily said...

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!! This is just classic!

Elizabeth Waite said...

I was shocked to hear these accusations. I must admit it shook my belief in JJ. I decided to confront him with what "witnesses" were saying. He looked me square in the eye, and swore he had been framed. He admits that he does quack, but flatly denied he ever does crack! He said it was clearly prejudice from the start and knew he would be set up to take a fall. He claims that Memzy struck the first blow and he was merely trying to defend himself. Now he believes it had to be Memzy who sold him down the river, and his little black heart is truly broken. He sounded very convincing, and offered to take a lie detector test. I am making arrangements now. I wonder if Memzy and Shed would do the same?

Shed said...

Bring it.

ManicMandee said...

Oh mom, Shed and Memz, this is too too funny.